I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize