i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
