Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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