my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Boobs are out for the taking
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
