I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I touched a dick in church today
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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