Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
