She said her name was "party"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
that may or may not have been my penis.
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