I want to have your abortion
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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