Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
