I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
