isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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