Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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