Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
