Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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