I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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