i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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