Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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