you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
