is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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