we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
