In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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