you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
