Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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