yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
