ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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