I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
