Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I need water and some morals
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
