Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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