I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
