I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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