it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
