Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
