I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
