Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
