let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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