I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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