I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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