i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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