my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
