their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
