I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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