that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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