i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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