his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
