...so i touched it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
