guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
