Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
