Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
