the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
