I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
