I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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