I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
