We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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