why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
