Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
