He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
