Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
