My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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