what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
