So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
