I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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