if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I believe in your delicious
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